Squats on Roller Skates (Part 3)

(Note: Before we continue with part
3, many readers have asked what a
rainbow and a double rainbow are.

A rainbow refers to colored bumper
plates used for Olympic weightlifting.
One plate of each color on each side
of the bar is a rainbow. Red is 25
kilos (55 pounds), blue is 20 kilos
(44 pounds), yellow is 15 kilos (33
pounds) and green is 10 kilos (22
pounds). That makes 70 kilos (154
pounds) on each side of the bar, or
140 kilos total (308 pounds) plus
the weight of the bar (20 kilos, or
44 pounds).

A double rainbow is two plates of
each color on each side of the bar.
Total weight (with bar) 660 pounds.

That was a world record back in the
1950's when Doug Hepburn squatted it.)

After that, it was easy. I wrote up a
basic Dino Training program for the
kid. A beginner's program. Three total
body workouts per week. Three sets of
each exercise. I had him start light,
add weight on the second set and add
a bit more on the third set. He did
5 reps on the upper body exercises
10 reps on squats, deadlifts and
gut work.

I had him buy weightlifting shoes
and do full squats (donkey to floor).
If you're young and new to the iron,
they're the way to go. Much better
than the parallel squats we were
taught when we were kids. Of course,
you do them in good form -- no drop
and bounce -- and like I said, you
wear Olympic lifting shoes when you
do them.

The shoes weren't as cool as roller
skates, but they worked a lot better
for him.

He trained hard, never missed a workout
(well, almost never), and gradually added
weight to the bar. As he grew stronger,
he progressed to more advanced programs,
i.e., fewer exercises, more sets of each
exercise, and more weight on the bar.

It wasn't rocket science, but it worked.

Today, three years later, you wouldn't
recognize him. He's packing 50 or 60
pounds of new muscle, and he's handling
some big weights in all of his exercises.

A couple of days ago, he was loading the
squat bar at the gym, and heard some newbies
arguing about leg training.

They couldn't figure out what to do, so
they finally broke down and asked him.

"Squats," he said.

"What else?" they asked.

"Heavier squats," he said.

It was good advice. I hope they follow it.

Yours in strength,

Brooks Kubik

P.S. Doug Hepburn built some serious
strength and power with basic, old-school
exercises. Learn his training secrets in
this exciting course:


P.S. 2. My other books and courses are
right here:


P.S. 3. Thought for the Day: "The secret is
to keep adding weight to the bar." -- Brooks

Squats on Roller Skates (Part 2)

Hail to the Dinosaurs!

"So what do you think?" he asked.

"About you doing squats on roller skates?"

"Yeah. What about it?"

I thought fast. This was a tricky one.

"It sounds great!" I said (and I tried to
sound like I meant it). "There's just one

"Problem? What is it?"

"Well, I assume you plan on handling some
big iron - champion style stuff - lots of
big plates, and all."

He nodded his head impatiently.

"Double rainbows," he said. "Accept nothing

I hastened to agree before I burst out laughing.
Double rainbows? The only way this guy was ever
going to put a rainbow on the bar was if he
painted it -- or if he started squatting for
real, which was where I was going to take

"Yeah, yeah, squat-o-saurus stuff! But that's
the problem. You'd need industrial strength
roller skates to handle that kind of weight.
I don't think they make them -- and if they
did, they'd cost an arm and a leg!"

His eyes bulged like they were going to pop
right out of his head. He furled his brow
furiously as he tried to wrap his brain
around the dilemma.

After several seconds, he gave up.

"You're right!" he said. "I never thought of
that. Why didn't the guy who invented the
idea warn me?"

"Maybe he doesn't squat heavy."

"Maybe. I dunno. NOW what do I do?"

He sat on a bench and sighed. He looked the
perfect picture of dejection.

"I know something you could try."

"What's that?"

"Squats in shoes."


"Yeah -- shoes."

"I dunno," he muttered. "It sounds radical."

"It is," I promised. "It is. And what till
you get a load of the special squat program
I'm gonna give you."

He started to perk up.

"Special program? What is it? Bulgarian triple
split quad optimizers? Or the 50 x 50 system?"

I waved my hand dismissively.

"That stuff's yesterday. This is now."

And I reached into my gym bag and pulled out a
notebook and a pen -- and started to write up a

"Shoes?" he asked. "For real."

I nodded.

"For real."


P.S. You may not make it to double rainbows,
but you can pack plenty of iron onto the bar
-- and build plenty of muscle mass - if you
train the right way. And here's something that
teaches the right way to train:


P.S. 2. My other books and courses are
right here:


P.S. 3. Thought for the Day: "Train hard, train
heavy, and keep it real." -- Brooks Kubik

Squats on Roller Skates (Part 1)

Hail to the Dinosaurs!

Someone asked me what I thought about
doing squats on roller skates.

At first I thought he was kidding.

Turns out he was serious.

He'd read about it on the internet.

Apparently, it was the most effective
way to do squats. Triples your results
in half the time.

And apparently there are studies from
leading universities that prove it.

I mean, it's 100% bona fide.

Pure science.

Irrefutable logic.

With lots of big words, even.

"It's all about muscle memory," he said.
"If the muscles have never been there,
they don't remember it. So if your
muscles don't remember how to squat
on roller skates, they may start to
atrophy instead of hypertrophy. Which
means the more you train, and the more
weight you put on the bar, the worse
it is for you. It's worse than bio-
enervation of the remedial tediums!
Or molecular disgruntlement of the
anterior whazzit widget!"

I nodded gravely. I didn't know what to
say. I mean, I've seen and heard a lot
of goofy training stuff in my time, but
this took the cake.

There was even a documented case history
that explained the whole thing. He told
me all about it.

Good thing, too, because I would never
have figured this out on my own.

"See, there was this guy who trained old-
fashioned," he continued. "Worked up to
400 pounds for three sets of five reps in
the squat - and 450 pounds for a single.
Maybe even more than that! But he didn't
do them on roller skates."

"What happened to him?" I asked.

He looked at me like I had asked if
2 plus two equals ten.

"His muscles atrophied," he squeaked.
"Big time! He ended up weighing 111
pounds with 10 inch thighs! And they'll
shrink down to nine inches if he keeps
it up."

"That'll teach him!" I noted.

"Right!" he replied. "He even fits into
those hipster style skinny jeans. It's
really embarrassing for a guy who squats
400 for 5 reps."

I nodded. He was right. Skinny jeans are
truly embarrassing.

I decided to change the subject.

"So what are YOU squatting these days?"
I asked.

"95 pounds on my my heavy day!" he said,
with more than a whiff of self-satisfied
smugness. "But those aren't on roller

I was surprised. I'd pegged him as a "75
pounds on my heavy day" sort of guy.

"But I only go heavy every three months,"
he added. "I don't want to fry my CNS!"

"No, you wouldn't want to do that."

"So what do you think?" he asked.

"About what?"

"Squats on roller-skates! Should I do
power squats, donkey to grass, front
squats or overhead squats?"

"On roller skates?"

"Right! Or maybe I should do those 20 rep
breathing squat thingies. I heard those
were pretty good."

"Guy named McCallum thought so," I said.

"Did he do them on roller skates?"

I shook my head.

"I don't think so."

He waved his hand dismissively.

"Then he didn't do 'em right," he pronounced.

He turned back to me.

"So what do you think?" he asked.


Yours in strength,

Brooks Kubik

P.S. If you don't like the idea of squats
on roller skates, try the leg and back
programs in CHALK AND SWEAT -- and build
some serious strength and muscle mass:


P.S. 2. My other books and courses are
right here:


P.S. 3. Thought for the Day: "Simple works
fine, but most people prefer silly. That's
why they stay small and weak." -- Brooks