Hail to the Dinosaurs!
The Pump Guy walked into the gym wearing a neon-colored
shirt that said "Bury Me Big!"in bright turquoise letters.
He wore a baseball cap that was turned backwards. It said
"Dianabol - Breakfast of Champions."
He wore a pair of enormous sun-glasses to keep from blinding
himself when he repped out super-fast on the pec dec.
His gym bag brimmed and bulged with muscle mags, super
supplements, and extra muscle shirts (just in case he busted
out of his shirt during his workout).
He carefully mixed his pre-workout drink, and chugged it
It was double chocolate with raspberry, and was fortified
with 73 herbs, 97 amino acids, and 17 kinds of seaweed.
You needed serious fuel for serious training.
He always laughed at anyone who tried to train without a
He even had a special name for them:
He put in his ear buds, fired up his MP3, and started to
He did double insanity pec pumps for two hours, super-
setted with ultra-mega lat busters and triple drop set
He followed these with three hours of maxi-mega, retro-
gravity peak contraction, eccentric uni-lateral, six dimensional
German Arm Blasters and 97 sets of Himmalayan Hyper Curls
at 6/10 rep speed.
All the Champions did lots and lots of German Arm Blasters.
He read about it in the magazines and the bodybuilding forums.
He had a special name for people who didn't do them:
In between sets he chugged more pre-workout drinks.
"Gotta get my aminos!" he said to himself.
His favorite Champion just won the Mr. Gargantua Contest.
He got lots of aminos.
The Pump Guy had a special name for people who didn't
get enough aminos:
When he was finished, he poured some water on his head to
make it look like he had broken a sweat, and then swaggered
back to the locker room.
On the way, he walked by the squat rack.
"What's that?" he asked.
"A towel rack," said the gym owner.
"Right!" said the Pump Guy. "I knew that!"
MORAL OF THE STORY
Don't be the Pump Guy.
Yours in strength,
P.S. Here's the book that launched the Dinosaur Revolution - and it's
helped keep thousands of trainees from being the Pump Guy:
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