Hail to the Dinosaurs!
This is the American Library Association's Banned Books Week. In keeping with the occasion, yesterday I launched a campaign to ban my book Dinosaur Training, and asked readers to give me reasons to ban it. Here they are:
“Dinosaur Training is already banned at the gym where I work – but I train the members Dino style as an undercover mission when the owner is not around!”
Anonymous Trainer at Typical Gym
“Dinosaur training should be banned because it teaches exercises that aren’t chest and bicep pumpers.”
“It should be banned at any gym where the motto is ‘No grunting, no effort, no strength.’”
“Hasn't Dinosaur Training already been banned in the pastel-colored, fern-adorned, pink-dumbbelled establishments known as ‘fitness centers’ where the heaviest thing you lift is the monthly charge on your bank account?”
Dinosaur Training should be banned because if you train like it directs you to, you'll be able to tear things apart with your bare hands!”
“Dinosaur Training: Lost Secrets of Strength and Development should be banned because reading it and following the clear instruction contained within will lead to a worldwide depletion of cotton due to a markedly-increased demand for larger size pants and shirts that will easily outpace production -- to say nothing of the rapid depletion of the world's iron ore reserves as they are converted into 45 lb plates to keep up with the progressive strength gains of a newly enlightened population.”
“Dinosaur Training should be banned because following its principles projects a false sense of youth, causing people to assume I'm younger than I actually am!”
“Dinosaur Training should be banned because it reveals the chrome weight machine sissy boys as posers who want to portray themselves as tough guys rather than the Dino's they do not have the fortitude to become.”
“The book should be banned in Hollywood, California. It's about hard work and real results, not photo-shopped illusions.”
“It should not be banned. You never know who might pick it up, see the light, and be rescued from a life of super-silly, foo-foo fitness.”
“Dino Training should be banned because it builds real men (or women) and that ‘s exactly the opposite of what the fitness industry wants. How can a training book be serious if it doesn’t talk about machines, pumping, supplements, and the latest super system?”
“Dinosaur Training should be banned because it transformed me from a helpless muscle comic junkie into a physically and spiritually powerful free-thinker."
"T-Rex" Jeff Bankens
“Why ban it? Because the strength that Dinosaur Training builds is OBSCENE!”
“Your book should be banned because it terrifies the average wussified American male who resides in "PNGL" (pingil), a/k/a/ "Pencil Neck Geek Land"!
“Dinosaur Training should be banned immediately! If people would read and actually follow its sage advice, an entire industry of fly-by-night personal trainers, supplement pushers, and fitness doo-dad inventors would be wiped from the face of the earth! It must not be allowed to be consumed by a thinking public nor placed anywhere near a bookstore, newsstand or magazine rack carrying the latest issues of Musclehead Monthly, SteroidInsanity Illustrated, or Brain-Dead Fitness Sheep Quarterly. I implore you to do the right thing and urge people to continue wasting their hard-earned money and precious time in support of the ‘latest, scientifically-proven, heretofore-never-made-public’ witchcraftery that comprises most people's idea of ‘working out.’"
“Dinosaur Training should be banned because it is just too heavy a book and poses severe health hazards to the gym bunny population with its unfathomable weight.”
“Dinosaur Training must be banned now! My 140 pound, 15 year old son has worked up to a 215 pound bench press using the methods found in this publication.”
“Dinosaur Training should be banned because it is too easy to understand. It should be banned because it is not designed to sell you a product to waste your money on and make other people rich. It should be banned because it tells it how it is, and how it works. It should be banned because most people cannot handle the truth about strength training!”
“We can never ban this wonderful book. To heck with the bunnies and all their silly workout routines. I had a bunny promoting the triceps kickback to me. I told him I recently close grip pressed 315 and push pressed 190. I wear my Dino t-shirt and my Gray Hair and Black Iron sweat shirt with pride. The bunny crowd will never get it!”
“This book should be banned from all garage/basement gyms where common sense already rules. It should, however, be forcibly read to all chrome and fern folk all across the world!”
Chris “Paulie” Davis
“I believe Dinosaur Training should be banned because every time I read a chapter it makes me want to walk through walls, and I can't afford the re-plastering costs.”
“The Bible of Dinosaur Training should be banned for two reasons:
1. It does something to your body that is really strange. It changes your body composition and builds real muscle. No pump, no endless burn and soreness from 25 sets of 65 reps, no zeppelin-like arms unless they are really packed with 100% No BS muscle. Who in the era of modern bodybuilding would want that?
2. The book is written by a master of mind manipulation. He will not only change your mind and your concepts of training forever, he will make you addicted to the book in no time. Once you read it you have to re-read it – and read it again – and again – and again! STOP! I have to grab my copy and re-read it tonight!”
And there you have it. Plenty of good reasons to implement an immediate ban on Dinosaur Training. I’ll forward this to the proper authorites in PNGL and see what we can do!
In the meantime, if you don’t already have a copy, grab it now – it might not be available if the Chrome and Fern Crowd has their way!
As always, thanks for reading and have a great day. If you train today, make it a good one!
Yours in strength,
P.S. You can grab your copy of Dinosaur Training right here:
P.S. 2. My other books and courses (and DVD’s and Dinosaur Training t-shirts, etc.) are right here:
P.S. 3. Thought for the Day: “Most people want something for nothing. Dinos are different. They want something for effort." – Brooks Kubik